Delhi Elections are about to begin; and while we have several parties like BJP and AAP fighting for the seats, we thought of creating our very own party with B-town stars who would fight at not just state but at national level elections too.
So let us look at the next reigning party of India which will soon be seen participating in elections and conquer your hearts! And also, what positions we are planning to a lot to our beloved actor turned politicians.
Statutory Warning: Take it seriously at your own risk!
Name: Bollywood Abhineta Party
Slogan: â€œEntertain Karenge, Rule Karengeâ€
Motto: We would show the public infinite mindless films. We would hike their ticket prices. We would make false claims at movie promotions. But when another party does the same, we would make a movie about evils in the society and win their trust again. JAI HO!
OUR CANDIDATES and THEIR POSITION:
1. Party Leader- Abhineta Shree Aamir Khan.
Remember our motto? Ee gola ka log bahut hi isstupid hai. So for every 'Dhoom 3' and 'Talaash', he will do a 'PK' to gain back the confidence of the aam junta.
2. Minister of Health and Family Welfare- Abhinetri Shrimati Vidya Balan.
â€œKyunki har ghar mein shauchalay hai zaruri.â€ given the number of shit films we make every yearâ€¦.no we didn't even mention about 'Bobby Jassoos'. We didn't.
3. Defence Minister- Abhineta Shree Ajay Devgn.
(Assisted by Shree Rohit Shetty)
Because we all need an honest man like Singham who would train every soldier to divide a bullet into four before it reaches the enemy's car's tire.
4. Minister of Home Affairs- Abhinetri Shrimati Deepika Devi Padukone.
Because having affairs is ghar ki baat for her. Her vast range of experience from Ranbir Bhavan to Ranveerpur's Panchayat gives her an advantage over the other candidates.
5. Minister of External Affairs- Abhineta Shree Ranbir Kapoor.
Because this man has taught us the real meaning of 'Atithi Devo Bhava'. It is all about loving them so much that the two end up being together. Truly, it is all about making them feel at homeâ€¦making them a citizen of India.
6. Minister of Labour and Employment- Abhineta Shree Salman Khan.
Look at 'Jai Ho' man, look at that wonderful film. They just don't call him the man with a heart of gold for no reason. Right from his brother to every idle-sitting unemployed actor, Salman bhai ensured employment to so many. *Sob Sob*
7. Education Minister- Abhinetri Kumari Alia Bhatt.
Because we believe in giving everyone a chance to learn and to inspire others to follow her path. *Seriously. No Jokes*
8. Minister of New and Renewable Energy- Abhineta Shree Ranveer Singh.
There have been times when the energy resources have fallen short. And those were the times when Ranveer Singh came to the rescue.
Kabhi kabhi yeh itne utsaahit ho jaate hain, ki khud hi bijlee ke taar ban jaate hain.
9. Minister of Drinking Water and Sanitation- Abhineta Shree Ronit Roy.
'Udaan', '2 States' and hopefully many more to come. If you don't want to be a father like Ronit Roy, prefer drinking water then!
10. Minister of Culture- Nirmata Shree Sooraj Barjatya.
Women wearing sarees, dancing before the gods and touching their husband's feet along with over-the-top melodrama and emotional scenes. Where would you find them all? That's right, in a Sooraj Barjatya movie! Surely, the man has kept our culture and family values intact.
So this time, vote for BAP and make your dream party win. We promise to entertain you, and keep you happy always.
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